Ooo it’s about that time!

Whoop whoop! I am a major football junkie. Gasp! A girl? Likes football? Surely it’s just for the pants. NOPE! It’s to sit here, call plays, beg for the flea flicker (cause it’s my favorite), and curse and scream. I like the think of myself as Sandra Bullock off The Blindside.

T-45 mins! GEAUX TIGERS!!!!

20130921-180221.jpg

Advertisements

Ooo It’s about “F*@k-this-Place” O’Clock

A lot of time my rants come from places that I just cannot stand. These rants fall under the…”ooo what time is it? ooo it’s about f&*k-this-place o’clock….”

On today’s installment of “f*)k-this-place” O’clock, we’re going to Wal Mart boys and girls. That’s right…the place of all that is evil. Now, going to a store should seem like a simple damn task. Noooo not at Wal Mart.

  1. Why is it COMPLETELY impossible for me to go to Wal Mart and leave ONLY with the things I need on my list??
  2.  It’s says “Wal Mart” not “allstupidpeoplewhodontknowhowtoactinpublic Mart”
  3.  The more  venture out in public the more I become let down by society. Now I know it’s just a store, BUT is it really that damn hard to pull yourself together and look somewhat acceptable?? Good Lawd people. I want to just stand in the front and hand out mirrors to people who obviously do not have them at home.
  4. Contrary to popular belief…Friday is NOT bring your badass heathen children to Wal Mart day, mmk? Leave them at home. In their cages.

These are just my random thoughts about a 1-hour trip to Wal Mart. Why is it just like the black hole of ridiculousness?? And with that, I would like to leave you with Wal Mart story time, brought to you by the many faces of That Girl…

humphHere is my…”sure…I’ll wait right here. You go ahead and wait for the little lady to load all of her groceries so you can get her parking spot. Don’t bother looking 2 spots down at the empty spot!!!!”

ha“Go right ahead and stand in the middle of the damn aisle!! What do I need to pass for? I’m sure picking out bandaids is a hard decision”

imagewa“Oh no, it’s ok. You’re excused. Thanks for moving”meMy praying face… “Dear Lawd, please make this bad ass child stop screaming and move out of my damn way before I ram him like a damn bumper car”kidYes. Yes I am mean mugging a 5 year old. And I don’t give a damn!

youYup. Now I’m looking at you stupid for not controlling your kid, who by the way is probably drinking drain cleaner by now because you are not watching him. Good luck with that…mmk.

madYou have GOT to be fucking kidding me. 20 items OR LESS. LESS=19 and under. It does NOT mean take your 50 items and checkout 3 times. I swear to bajeezus I am going to cut you with a damn spork.

walmart2HOLY SHIT!! I made it out of Wal Mart without killing people. Praise tha lawd!!

Stay safe kiddos!!

Fatness Be Gone

Let me say this only ONE more time..

**WARNING***DISCLAIMER** Anything I say is strictly the views upon myself and not other people.

Well welcome all who are intrigued enough to read this. Hopefully this will help me lose the weight I need. I’m starting this journey by myself and well these extra 40 lbs of crap! In the end it will be myself and some cute bikini…*wink*wink*. About 6 years ago, I was in a wonderful place…5’3″, 120 lbs loving life and candy….(mmmm candy…crap). Things happen, people get older, Big Macs go on sale for a $1…and wham bamm thank ya m’am here my big behind is. My journey really wasn’t even that bad until about 3 months ago when I started a new medication with a “weight gain” side effect…should have said “bring on the big girl” instead. 20lbs in 3 months…good lawd! Hide the bathing suits cause this one just ain’t coming out in them. Don’t get me wrong, all women are beautiful. Women with curves are beautiful…there are some 250# women that I think are gorgeous and would love to look like, instead I look like Wilma the whale on a surfboard. *ONCE AGAIN, LAST WARNING..The visuals I have are of myself and only myself…(don’t forget, you read the disclaimer at the top!) I don’t think I need to be this stick thin super model….please…I’m barely tall enough to even ride certain rides, so trust me the runway is not a dream. I just want to be comfortable. Toned may be a good word. Hell….I really just want to look down and see my feet and not some hill protruding out of me. So here I am….taaa daaaa…..baring mind, body (even the extra I don’t want) and soul. I will fill you in on the good, the bad, and the fat.

About 2 weeks ago I started getting up every morning and walking over to the next neighborhood and walk around and around and around for about 45 mins…almost 4 miles. Now, let me tell you how this works. I get up at 530…hello street lights. I walk out my back door, past the building behind my house (this is to get to the neighborhood) the first shop in the building….you guess it….Mary FREAKEN Lee donuts. What. the. hell. Be strong Girl, be strong. So I keep going. Get to the end of the building…SNAP Fitness. That’s right folks, I live next door to the damn gym!!!! *Sigh* But I feel like I need to lose weight just to go to the gym…what the shit is that?? Off to the neighborhood….round and round we go….k….let’s go home…back past the gym…screw you people and your air condition….past Mary Lee’s….mmmm….donu….dammit Girl keep walking! Back to the house full of sweat, hunger, and dreams. Every. damn. day.

Ok, I’ll admit it… I am usually the hand over the diet pills skinny bitch at GNC, type of person. Honestly, hell I still am that person. BUT I am adding exercise. Right now I am taking Green Tea Extract with Fat Burner. Don’t judge me. I’m sure it’s not healthy but neither is me strangling the skinny girl next to me eating a Big Mac…mmk? Now, so far I take 4 a day as instructed.  I take 2 around 6am and 2 more at 1pm. If you are sensitive to caffeine, DO NOT take 2 in the evening…you will be bouncing off the walls when it’s time to go nighty night. Trust me. I get at least 45 minutes of cardio a day, and I do try my best to count my calories. My nifty swifty profile on My Fitness Pal helps me out…(http://www.myfitnesspal.com/ooogirl) feel free to check it out.

So that’s where I am….I sure hope the hard work starts paying off soon! If not, Lawd protect the skinny bitches ’cause I’m comin for ya!

My Life

ALL DAY, ‘ERR DAY. ‘ERR. DAMN. DAY.

Welcome to the Show

Seriously, welcome. Thanks for stopping by and all that goodness! First off, I had to write a disclaimer, because…well… I thought you should be aware for what you’re in for. So, on that note, somewhere up above there’s a tiny little link…yes, obviously the one that says “disclaimer”. So just check it out real quick and make sure this is really where you wanna be, mmk? Thanks.

Now, on with the show! I have been wanting to start a blog for a while now…so taa daaa here we are. Ooo Girl randomly popped in my head. So many times a day I really want to say “Ooo girl, guess what happened” or “Ooo girl, you ain’t gonna believe this shit” or even “Ooo girl, you look like a hot mess” I wish I could categorize this blog into a certain genre but there just isn’t one large enough. I’m gonna take you on a journey of life, weightloss (which I like to call “FATNESS BE GONE”}, and probably some of the most random shit you have ever encountered. You’ll be able to thank me later, don’t worry!

For now, just sit back and relax, it’s a hell of a show!